Archive for the ‘Stories’ Category

Police Intervention

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Do you have a problem?
No.
You seem offended that I’m asking you questions.

How it happened in my head:
I am offended. I am offended because you have been incredibly rude. I’m offended because on two occasions you have asked me the same question twice, either because you don’t trust my answer, or you weren’t listening.

I am offended because you asked for my identity without offering your own. I am offended because when you approached me with ‘How are you today?’ I responded ‘Well thank you, and how are you?’ to which you offered only a grunt.

I am offended because your partner circled me, and stood out of my field of view, presumably to ensure your safety, but inadvertently threatening my own. I am offended because I was sitting here, making it perfectly obvious that I wanted to be alone and yet, you approached me.

I find it ironic that you have asked me if I know anything about assaults in this area. I can assure you that I have not been assaulted, assaulted anyone or witnessed any assaults in this area. In fact, the only time I felt like I might be subject to assault was moments ago when you and your partner approached.

That is why, I am offended.

How it actually happened:
Then I must apologise, I didn’t mean to seem offended.

Welston and how the world was born

Monday, March 29th, 2010

There are many stories that tell of how the world came to be, some of them begin with nothing, some with almost nothing, some with tiny bits of nothing exploding into something. There are very few of these stories that begin with Welston, this is one of those stories.

Welston was a god of sorts, but not the kind that received the prayers of men, in part because he had no ears, but mostly because there were no men. Welston had existed for at least as long as he could remember, which wasn’t very long at all, but that wasn’t the slightest bit relevent because there was no time. Welston just was… and then he sneezed.

The mucous of existence ejected from Welston’s sad earless face with a force so explosive that, all the things which aren’t Welston came to be. On a gush of finely sprayed sputum, the processes  and reactions stumbled into line, into matter, into energy and light, into suns and stars, into our little blue bulb.

And of Welston? With nothing firm beneath his feet, Welston was sent, with all the energy of the universe, tumbling away from it, away from the only something that Welston ever knew.

Us and Welston diverging for eternity never again to meet.